Sorry
by Mercedes88
Summary: Rating: K Disclaimer: I don't own anything Robin Hood, etc. Summary: Marian’s feelings on her decision to marry Gisbourne. Set between Brothers in Arms and Tattoo. One-shot.


Rating: K  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything Robin Hood, etc.  
Summary: Marian's feelings on her decision to marry Gisbourne. Set between Brothers in Arms and Tattoo.

Note: I know it's been a while since I've posted, but I should have an update to The Usual soon as well as a few other one shots.

This is a bit more angsty than my usual, but I've always wondered what Marian went through the night she accepted Guy's proposal. From her happy reaction to seeing Robin again in Tatoo and their subsequent convo, it seemed to me it was the first time she was seeing him after that day she accepted Guy, which means there had been no midnight visit to explain what had happened that night, etc. So, in lieu of that, this is my version of a missing scene.

Thanks much for your continued support!! Would love feedback on this one. Please R&R.

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Sorry

"_Sorry."_

That is all she said.

She had denounced him to his enemy. She had sold her soul to the devil. She had crushed him.

And all she had to offer was a poorly chosen, one-word apology.

"_Sorry."_

At that moment, she could not hate herself more.

"Marian, dear." Sir Edward held the cold hand of his obviously distraught daughter. "How did this happen?"

"I…do not know." Marian's blue eyes were distant and unseeing. Her speech, robotic and unemotional. The opposite of everything a newly betrothed girl should be. "One minute I was standing there preparing to hang for my actions…"

_Preparing to confess my love for another._

"…the next, Gisborne was proposing marriage. It happened so fast, I did not have time to think. To work out all the consequences."

_To embrace what I have destroyed._

_And choose death over a life without him._

He patted her hand, his sympathetic gaze focused on her face. "You did the best you could in a terrible situation. And though I am sure you are regretting the decision, there is nothing to be done now."

"Except pray the King never comes home." Marian whispered.

"Marian!"

Sir Edward's shock at her near traitorous words snapped Marian into action. She pulled her hand out of his and stood, desperate indignation blazing out of her eyes. "Would you have me pray instead for his speedy return and my certain destruction? Oh, father…" Her breathing became labored as she ran a shaky hand through her hair, a gesture that signaled the level of her distress. "What must Robin be thinking…"

"Robin?"

She began pacing, her focus on a distant figure in a nearby forest. "He was there, outside the window. He…heard…everything."

"_I would never marry him. I despise Robin Hood."_

Alarmed by his daughter's obviously disturbed state of mind, Edward attempted to calm her. "Marian, listen to me." He approached her as one would a scared, wild animal. "I know his return has been difficult for you. That it has reminded you of things you have tried to forget. Now, with your fate sealed in Gisborne's hands…" He reached out and lightly grasped her arms. "…it is time to let this dream of Robin go. You know how I feel about the boy…"

A defiant gaze met his. She shook his hands from her arms and took a guarded step out of his reach. "Oh, yes, Father, I am well aware of what you think of Robin. You have made your displeasure of him quite clear on many an occasion."

"Do you blame me?" Edward responded defensively. "I watched him promise the world to my daughter only to walk away without a second glance in search of his own ambition."

"His own ambition?" Incredulity flashed through her eyes. "Where is that now? What has he not given to save the people he loves?" An impassioned defense began. "His titles. His home. Risking his very life. Do you not see what he is, father? He is a hero. To a powerful King. To the weak of Nottingham. To me. A stubborn daughter that cannot forget him."

Old battle scars were visible in her expression. "You never thought he was worthy of me. Truth is, I was never worthy of him. Or his love."

"Marian!"

"I have to go to him. I need him to understand." Her sudden decision was quickly followed by action as she grabbed a candle and headed to the wardrobe. Throwing the doors wide open, she hastily claimed her cloak.

_I didn't mean it. Not a single word. I want to take it back. I want to be yours again. I'll do anything…anything…anything…_

Edward was on her heels. "Understand what? That you never stopped loving him? Robin is astute. He need not be told the truth to know it." Egged on by intense fear, Edward forcibly turned Marian to face him. "Think child. You belong to Gisborne now. He will be watching you even more closely than before. Any slip, any wrong move and he not only will your life be in danger, so will Robin's. Is that what you want?"

_I __**want**__ Robin._

"No! No, of course not!" As her father's logic broke through her panic, Marian's eyes clouded with defeat. "I could never live with myself if something happened to Robin because of me." Tears began to form. "Oh, father. What am I going to do?"

"You are going to play this game."

"How?"

"Very carefully. Very convincingly."

"For how long?"

"Until you win."

"And how can I do that?" Marian's chin quivered as the fear in her heart shivered through her voice. "As you said, I am Gisborne's now. There is no winning in a future with that man as my husband."

_Only destruction. Only death. Mine. His._

"We will end this before that happens." Edward pulled his shaking daughter into his arms. "We will find a way."

"And Robin?" Marian sniffed against his tunic. "Father, the things I said…"

"I am sorry, love." Edward pulled back and smoothed her hair, surprised at the sincerity of his own words. "As much as you want to set things right with Robin, you cannot. Not now. If he heard everything as you say, he will understand you were in an untenable situation. He will not blame you."

_He will. He does._

"You did not see the look in his eyes." Marian whispered as her haunted gaze shifted. "I broke him today, father. And worse yet, for the part I will have to play, he will hate me." Her eyes closed in anguish. "He will hate me and I will lose him forever. I do not know how to live with that."

_I do not __**want**__ to live with that._

"You will find a way to make it right, at a _time_ that is right." Edward assured her. "And Marian, I am sorry, but that time is not now. Promise me." He paused till he was sure her attention was centered in logic. "Marian…promise me you will not take unnecessary risks to see Robin about this."

Pain ripped through her lovely eyes as she stared in the direction of the forest. "But…"

"_If_ you love him, Marian, _this_ is the sacrifice you will have to make to keep him safe."

Though his words of assurance fell on deaf ears, his challenging declaration ended all protest.

Sir Edward of Knighton did not know Robin of Locksley the way Marian did. He did not understand that Robin could forfeit everything -- his land, his titles, his fortune -- to this declared war of his, but he was unwilling to sacrifice love.

Not theirs.

Not again.

It's what he'd been telling her since his return. It's what she'd been ignoring for just as long. She'd foolishly rejected it because she secretly believed they still had time. That a future awaited them…when the King returned.

Now, that hope had been stripped away from her by her own hands. Now, the day she had dreamed of had become a nightmare. And every day between this and that would now be a slow, agonizing death for her.

_And their love._

As she played the blushing bride. As she pretended a bond she could never feel. As she allowed herself to be possessed by a man she despised. As she did the unforgiveable...

Robin would be a witness to it all.

And he _would_ hate her for it.

Just as she hated herself.

But there was no turning back now. Her fate was sealed.

Robin's was not.

She knew Gisbourne. Now that she had given him a claim, he would suffer no impertinence. No embarrassment. No flouting of his authority or right to be by her side.

Robin was in greater danger than ever.

To save him, she had no choice. She would make him doubt her. Her devotion. Her loyalty. Her love. She would lie. She would be silent.

She would choose his life over her own.

"Marian?" Her father's prompting sealed her decision.

"For Robin…" Her lips trembling with emotion, Marian nodded as a single tear rolled down her cheek. "…I will do anything. Even become the woman he can never love again."

From across the room, her father sighed with relief. "It is the right choice." He whispered before leaving his daughter to face the consequences of her decision.

"I'm sorry, my love." Tears streaming down her face, she whispered her sorrow into the night. "I'm so…so very sorry."

The End


End file.
